Do you find yourself always getting frustrated or angry with others? Maybe it’s a driver in traffic…or someone failed to do something that you asked him to do…or possibly you thought you were not consulted on a certain project for work or church.
When we make a plan to accomplish something, and this plan goes well, we have a sense of satisfaction because our need for a sense of control has been satisfied. When things don’t go according to our plan, we quickly become frustrated and angry. When things happen over which we have no control, we tend to vent our frustrations verbally to those around us? Why? Because people haven’t lived up to how we tried to control them.
Why do we get frustrated and angry with those who don’t live up to our expectations? Because we want to show others how hurt we are because they haven’t followed our plans. We want to show others that they have refused our status and power. When others block our actions or refuse our permission, we get frustrated.
Frustration is a key source to all of our stress. We sometimes direct our anger inward, criticizing ourselves for lack of planning or preparation, but most of the time, we direct our frustrations to others, even those who are clearly innocent, yet just happen to be nearby.
The causes of our frustrations and anger have less to do with what happened to us than our interpretation of the causes.
Common negative thinking patterns that trigger the causes of our frustrations:
- Over generalizing. EVERYONE disrespects me. I NEVER get the credit I deserve.”
- Obsessing on “shoulds” and “musts.” Having a rigid view of the way things should or must be and getting frustrated when reality doesn’t line up with my vision.
- Mind reading and jumping to conclusions. Assuming I “know” what someone else is thinking or feeling—that he or she intentionally upset me, ignored my wishes, or disrespected me.
- When anything bad happens or something goes wrong, it’s always someone else’s fault. I blame others for every negative event that happens to me.
When I begin to feel myself getting frustrated about something, I should take a moment to think about the situation and ask myself.
Will this frustration have any impact in the framework of heaven?
Is this frustration really worth ruining the day of those around me?
Does my response to frustration display my pride and need for control?
The Lord calls tells me to:
- Be merciful
- Overlook the sins of others
- Not to take revenge
- Treat people with love and grace.
Our anger and frustrations must be overcome by the power of God’s Word and His Holy Spirit.
How Do I Deal with Everyday Frustrations and Anger?
- Face the real issue. “I’m not walking in the Spirit.” I must accept the fact that my frustrations and anger are really actions of my flesh. If I really want to live out God’s love in my life, I must beg Him to help me walk in the Spirit.
- Do I really want to live as God desires for me to live?
- Do I really want self-discipline on my life?
- Do I really desire to love one another as God’s Words tells me to?
Galatians 5:25-26 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.
- Deal with my frustrations and anger.
- I must realize that my frustrations and anger will not accomplish the righteousness of God.
- I must confess that I have been responding to my own selfish desires and have been more focused on my own will and not on God’s will and purpose.
James 1:19-20 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.)
- I must die to self and live by Christ’s faith.
Galatians 2:20 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.
Although it’s difficult for me not to live according to my old “self” life and allow Christ to live His life through me, I know it is possible. I must begin my day with a “Die to Self Prayer”.
I realize this morning that to die with Christ simply means that I no longer allow my flesh to rule over my will, my thoughts, and my feelings. Through your power I want Your Spirit to control my body, soul, and spirit. Please show me how to obey the life of Christ within me. Father, I understand that unless self dies, I’m not able to obey the Holy Spirit. Please, Father, help me today. I know I can’t completely eradicate my old man, but I do now commit my body, soul, and spirit to Your control. May Your will be accomplished this day. In Jesus name…