Father’s Day Archives

Teaching a Child to Handle His Conflicts

One of the best ways to help your child learn to handle his conflicts is to demonstrate how you handle your conflicts.  After you have gone through a difficult situation, which could have been a conflict, talk to your child about it. Explain to him, “If I had really said or did what I wanted, I would have created a severe conflict with that person. How I thought before I spoke, and I chose my words, I prevented a conflict.” If you didn’t react in a right way, be brave enough to share with your child what you did wrong, and ask his forgiveness.

Tips to help teach your child how to handle conflicts:

  • Help your child learn to think about his words before he speaks them to others. Make up a childhood situation which could ultimately lead to a conflict. Then ask your child to explain to you how those words would make him feel. By allowing your child to imagine harsh words spoken to him, and how those words might make him feel, could help him learn to think before he speaks.
  • Help your child learn to make a better choice of his words. We all struggle at times when we don’t know what to say during disagreements. Explain to your child that it is much better to keep quiet than to say the wrong things. Share with him that people never forget bad things that are spoken to them.
  • Rehearse with your child these two things.  Will my words build up or tear down? Will my words be helpful or hurt-filled?
  • Help your child learn that his actions will speak louder than his words. Explain to him what he chooses to do will have a greater impact on someone than the words he says to him. If he says a kind word or does a kind act for his friend, it will show his friend that he cares more about him than what his words say to him.
  • Help your child learn from the mistakes of others. When you see other children having conflicts, use those situations as teaching moments. Ask your child, “How to you think that little girl felt when her friend said that to her?” Instead of complaining about your child’s conduct, watch how other children communicate, and use those examples, good or bad,  as teaching toola to handle his personal conflicts.
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Help Your Children Make Good Choices

Part of your job as a parent is to help your children learn to make wise choices. This is not always easy for you or for them, because, even as adults, we still make poor decisions. Many parents think that you should make all your children’s decisions for them. The problem with that method is these children will go to their peers and to get their opinions…which usually leads to them to making very poor choices.

Because children are impulsive and make choices before they thoroughly think through the consequences, it is important to teach them how to make right choices.

Here are a few tips which could help you as you teach your children to make right choices for themselves.

• Instruct him to carefully think through his choice before he makes a quick decision.
• Sit down one on one with your child and discuss his options before he makes the decision.
• Use God’s Word to discuss the outcomes of both decisions.
• Pray with your child asking the Lord to give him wisdom to make the right choice.
• Encourage your child to always pray before he makes a choice about a decision he is facing.
• Hold your child responsible for his poor choices. If you bail him when he makes a poor choice, he will learn that there are no consequences for the bad choices he makes.

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Rules for Raising a Delinquent Child

Several years ago, the Police Department of Houston, Texas,  put out  these 12 rules for raising a delinquent child.

1. Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. By doing this, he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.
2. When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think it’s cute.
3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is 21 and then let him decide for himself.
4. Avoid the use of the word “wrong”, this will give him a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him, and he is being persecuted.
5. Pick up everything he leaves around…books, shoes, clothes. Do everything for him so that he will experience in throwing all responsibility on others.
6. Let him read any printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let your child’s mind feast on garbage.
7. Quarrel frequently in the presence of your child. In this way, he will not be too shocked when your home breaks up.
8. Give the child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you had them?
9. Satisfy his every craving for food, drink, and comfort. See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may lead to harmful frustration.
10. Take his part against neighbors, teachers, and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child.
11. When he gets in real trouble, comfort yourself by saying, “I never could do anything with him.”
12. Prepare for a life of grief. You will be likely to have it.

If children are trained properly, they will bring you comfort in your old age. They will contribute positive values to this world. They will become good citizens and builders of our society.

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After a few of the usual Sunday evening hymns, the pastor stood up, walked over to the pulpit and briefly introduced a guest minister. In the introduction, the pastor told the congregation that the guest minister was his dearest childhood friends, and he wanted his friend to share whatever he felt would be appropriate for the service. The elderly man stepped to the pulpit and began to speak.

A Father, his son, and a friend of his son were sailing off the Pacific coast one day, when a fast approaching storm blocked any attempt to get back to the shore. The waves were so high that, even though the father was an experienced sailor, he could not keep the boat upright and the three were swept into the ocean as the boat capsized.

The old man hesitated for a moment, making eye contact with two teenagers who were, for the first time since the service began, looking somewhat interested in his story. He continued with his story,

Grabbing a rescue line, the father had to make the most excruciating decision of his life—which boy would he throw the life line?  He only had seconds to make the decision. The father knew that his son was a Christian, but He also knew that his son’s friend was not. The agony of his decision could not be matched by the torrent of waves. As the Father yelled out, I love you, son! He threw out the life line to his son’s friend. By the time the father had pulled the friend back to the capsized boat, his son had disappeared beneath the raging swell into the black of the night. His body was never covered.

By this time, the two teenagers were sitting up straight in the pew, anxiously waiting for the next words to come out of the old minister’s mouth.

The Father knew his son would step into eternity with Jesus, and he could not bear the thought of his son’s friend stepping into an eternity without Jesus. Therefore he sacrificed his son to save the son’s friend. How great is the love of God that He should do the same for us. Our heavenly Father sacrificed His only begotten Son that we could be saved. I urge you to accept His offer to rescue you and take a hold of the life line He is throwing out to you in this service.

With that, the old man turned and sat back down in his chair as silence filled the room. The pastor again walked slowly to the pulpit, delivered a brief sermon, and gave an invitation at the end. When no one responded to the invitation, the pastor closed the service with prayer.

After the service, the two teenagers were at the old man’s side, That was a nice story, politely stated one of the boys, but I don’t think it was very realistic for a Father to give up his only son’s life hopes that the other boy would become a Christian.

Well, you’ve got a point there, the old man replied. Glancing down at his worn Bible, a big smile broadened his narrow fact—he once again looked up at the boys and said, It sure isn’t realistic, is it? But I’m standing here today to tell you that story gives me a glimpse of what it must have been like for God to give up His Son for me. You see—I was that Father and your pastor is my son’s friend.

This was said to be a true story.

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Ways Fathers Can Inspire Their Children 

• Set an example for them. Rather than teaching children with words alone, show your children what needs to be done by setting an example. If you are hardworking and responsible, this teaches your children to be hard working. They will look up to you and will want to emulate you.

• Treat their mother with kindness and respect. Children become very attached to their mothers as they grow up. If you do not treat their mothers with respect, they probably will not respect you or be inspired by you.

• Spend time with them. Fathers who are absent most of the time from their children’s lives do not make much of an impact on them. Spend time with them by helping them with their homework, playing games with them, driving them to their activities, getting to know what they like,  and finding out who their friends are.

• Encourage them with praise. Go easy on the criticism.  When you push your children to do more than they are able to do and criticize them because they do not live up to your expectations, it will dampen their enthusiasm.

• Teach them right from wrong: When children see that you don’t lie, cheat or treat people badly, they will pick up these traits. Be an inspiration to them by showing them how they should want to live their lives and treat their children someday.

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What Will Be Your Legacy?

Max Jukes lived in the state of New York. He did not believe in Christian training. He married a girl with his same convictions.  From this union there were 1,026 descendants.  Out of this family, 300 died prematurely, 100 were sent to the penitentiary for an average of 13 years each, 190 were public prostitutes, 100 drunkards and the family cost the state $1,200,000.00. They made no contribution to society.

On the other hand…

Jonathan Edwards lived in the same state.  He believed in Christian training.  He married a girl with his same convictions. From this union there were 729 descendants. Out of this family, there were 300  preachers, 65 college professors, 13 university presidents, 60 authors of good books, 3 United States congressmen and 1 vice-president of the United States, (except for Aaron Burr, a grandson of Edwards who married a woman of questionable character), the family has not cost the state a single dollar.

What was the difference in the two families?  Christian training in youth and heart conversions.


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Father’s Day Ideas

Father’s Day began in the early twentieth century as a special day to honor fathers.  This is a  great time to plan a special event for fathers. Different ideas might include Father-Son camp-outs, breakfasts, or picnics. Here are a few ideas that I have collected  to recognize fathers in your church: 

  • Have Children’s church leaders plan a contest called “My Dad Is Great”. Instruct each child to write a short paragraph about his father. Paragraphs could include a Bible verse that describes dad or his Occupation. A child whose father is a construction worker could write, “A wise man who built his house on the rock”, Matthew 7:23-25. Read the best essays in the main worship service.
  • Have a Father’s Day breakfast. Have the children serve all the fathers a simple breakfast in their children’s church room. Decorate the room and tables with a Father’s Day Theme. 
  • Write and present a short children’s costumed program called “Fathers of the Bible.” Choose four older boys to act as each Biblical father. Each boy says a few words about the characteristics of the Biblical father and his father. 
  • Invite some of the fathers of the church to participate in children’s church on Father’s Day. Have each one of the fathers give a short talk about their favorite Bible character. 
  • Plan a Father-Son campout or picnic.
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