The pastor’s wife must wear many hats. Her husband may want her to oversee different areas of the ministry such as the office, nursery, visitation, hosting pastors and missionaries, children’s classes, banquets, showers, and various women’s ministries. Since the church has many gifted women, the pastor’s wife should look for opportunities to help other women discover their gifts and use them to minister in the church.
Years ago, an evangelist shared this bit of wisdom with me, “Judy, women are at the root of most conflicts in churches.” I have discovered through the years that this evangelist’s observation was very accurate. Since the emotional make-up of spiritually immature women prevents them from clearly seeing many of the church’s needs and ministries, they will usually be the first to complain and criticize.
If you do have spiritually mature women in your church who can coordinate different areas of ministry, allow these women to use their gifts to help you.
A pastor’s wife must learn to trust others, release control, and delegate duties. When she is able to do this, she frees herself to minister in other areas. For most pastors’ wives delegating is difficult, because usually they are more experienced and more qualified to do the jobs that need to be delegated.
When a pastor’s wife does not delegate, she not only robs other women of opportunities to grow and serve, but she also needlessly increases her own workload. It should be the desire of every pastor’s wife to see her women grow spiritually and become responsible for different ministries in the church.
Here are a few ideas to help a pastor’s wife learn to delegate:
1. Get to really know your women. Learn what area they are gifted to serve. Get to know them by taking them out to coffee or inviting them to do ministry with you. Be willing to spend time with them and pass on what you know. Be an example for them to follow.
2. Determine their dependability and faithfulness by giving them small tasks you are already doing.
3. Show them exactly what you want done by writing a job description for the task you want them to do.
4. Train and teach them by not only by verbal communication but by hands on training and mentoring. Ask questions to make sure they understand the tasks. Make sure they have your phone number and email address in case they have questions and need further guidance and clarification.
5. Establish good lines of communication with them through meetings, texting, etc. They will not represent you well if they don’t have your heart. Encourage them often by thanking them and complementing them. Use concrete ways to show your appreciation.
6. Check on their work. The old cliché “You cannot expect what you don’t inspect.” There is another disciple-making principle “What Doesn’t Get Measured, Doesn’t Get Done.” Every chance you get, check on their work and help them to the best they can. Make corrections and changes when necessary.
7. Allow them to use their creativity and variations in doing jobs. They might have better ways to do the jobs you have been doing. Focus on the final result, not on the how the job gets done.