Although there is not a pastor’s wife description in the Bible, many churches have high expectations for her. She is expected to be the perfect wife, be a teacher and home school her children, be the church secretary, be a friend to everyone (but never have a best friend) , coordinate all the church events, organize women’s ministry activities and banquets, coordinate wedding showers and weddings, organize and host baby showers, and organize and prepare meals for those who have had deaths or serious illnesses in their families. Many of these expectations are unfair and unbiblical.
All pastor’s wives are different. Some are introverts, while others are extroverts. Some love having guests in their homes, while others shutter at the thought of it. Some can sing and play an instrument, but there are those who can’t sing or play an instrument. Some love to teach women, yet some find it very difficult to stand in front of women and speak. God has gifted each pastor’s wife with different gifts and strengths. When church members place unrealistic expectations on their pastor’s wife, these expectations can make a pastor’s wife think she is inadequate for the position, and feel like she is a failure in her duties. The most important thing you can do for your pastor’s wife is to have realistic expectations for her.
Here are some realistic expectations you can should have for your pastor’s wife.
- To love the Lord
- To love and respect her husband
- To use the gifts the Lord has given her to serve Him
- To train her children to love the Lord
- To cultivate in her children’s lives their God-given gifts, so that they can use their gifts to serve and glorify the Lord in the church
The world and the devil are full of discouragers. Look for some way this week to encourage your pastor’s wife. A small act of kindness could make all the difference in the world to her.
Here are a few ways to encourage your pastor’s wife.
- Have realistic expectations for her
- Pray for her—the demands are great!
- Give her a small gift to show your appreciation for her service
- Mail her an encouraging note
- Give her words of affirmation when you talk with her
- Text her and let her know that you are praying for her
- Take her out for coffee or lunch
- Do something nice for her children
The Preacher’s Wife
You may think it quite an easy task
And just a pleasant life
But really it takes a lot of grace
To be a preacher’s wife.
She’s suppose to be a paragon
Without a fault in view,
A saint when in the parsonage
As well as in the pew.
Her home must be a small hotel
For folks that chance to roam,
And yet have peace and harmony—
The perfect preacher’s home!
Whenever groups are called to meet,
Her presence must be there,
And yet the members all agree
She should live a life of prayer.
Though hearing people’s burdens,
Their grief both night and day,
She’s supposed to spread the sunshine
To those along the way.
She must lend a sympathetic ear
To every tale of woe,
And then forget about it,
Lest it to others go.
Her children must be models rare
Of quietness and poise,
But still stay on the level
With other girls and boys.
You may think it quite an easy task,
And just a pleasant life,
But really it takes a lot of grace
To be a preacher’s wife!