If I were the devil, I would devise a scheme to destroy churches. My number one target would be to attack the pastor. How would I do that? Knowing that his family has the area of greatest vulnerability, I would seek to destroy the church by attacking his family. Paul uses clear battle imagery to describe the challenges and issues we face as Christians because of Satan and his demons.
Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Some church members might be thinking, “I would never allow Satan to use me to destroy our church.”
All church families are under attack, but particularly pastors’ families.
Below are some ways you might be involved in battles that are taking place in your churches, and you don’t even realize it.
Many churches have unreasonable expectations of the family members of pastors. Because pastors’ children and spouses often feel pressure to live up to the expectations of some church members, it often creates resentment toward the church, their husband, and their father. As we were raising our children, one man in the church would tell his boys, “I don’t care what the Pastor allows his son to do…you’re not doing it.” It’s ironic that today sons don’t want to have anything to do with church…yet our son is a pastor.
Many pastors put church members’ needs before his family. The pastor’s family should have a high priority in his ministry. Some pastors get so busy ministering to the needs of others that they neglect their own families. I truly believe a pastor’s family is his greatest disciples. He is training them to be the future leaders of the church.
Many church members are critical of the pastor’s spouse. I just heard this last week, of a pastor who had to leave his church because of his wife. This pastor’s wife had been criticized and hurt so much by the women in the church that she could no longer endure to stay in the church.
Many pastors’ children rebel. The reason many pastors’ children rebel could be related to the criticisms or expectations of church members. Whatever the reason for their rebellion…this is a great distraction for pastors.
Many pastors get too involved with women in the church. A woman will come to a pastor and think that he is more compassionate and more understanding than her husband. As the pastor begins to counsel, it can lead to unplanned circumstances that eventually lead to the pastor’s ruin.
Many pastors’ low finances put stress on his family. Most church members don’t realize it, but usually pastors are the largest givers in the churches. Jealousy among church members is one of the reasons some church members don’t want their pastors to prosper. Someone once told me that he overheard another member say, “I lived in the nicest house in the church, until that pastor moved into that place.”
Church members do everything you can to protect your pastor’s family. Above all, pray for him and his family every day.